Thursday, August 11, 2011

Lutherans and Other Earthly Deposits

***My Day - Dedicated to hubby and our northern friends

My day began like any other. I got out of bed, made sure I was adequately dressed, walked and fed the dog, emptied the dishwasher and made breakfast. Wait, let me correct that. I should say, my day began the way hubby's normally does. He was currently away.

This was followed by more routine, making the bed, emptying the dryer, creating a list of 500 things which I hope to accomplish this week, checking email to find out the latest facebook frenzy. After commenting on the all important Brett Lawrie grand slam along with other Jays fans, I typed a blog heading.

I was planning to see the movie version of a best selling novel entitled, "The Help". I decided in advance that this book would be ruined in movie form. This seems to be the case with many adapted screenplays. Since I had already made up my mind, I was able to begin my review. First few sentences written, off I went to the movie theatre.

On my way home, I collected my "Teacher Appreciation" freebies at Staples, checked the mail, walked the dog and went outside where I picked up tomatoes off ground, removed branches that had been snapped by yesterday's wind, watered plants and pulled out a few weeds.

I sat down to relax and view the end of the Blue Jays game. Sadly, I realized that it had ended much earlier...around the third inning from what I could gather. When the dog leapt onto my lap, she left a brown slimey deposit on my legs and clothing. Although I agreed with her assessment of the game, I decided it was time for both of us to have a shower. How is it that little clean feet can leave such large muddy footprints on a cream coloured bath mat?

I thought I might want to have a short nap prior to Zumba class, so I brought the dog's bed in next to mine and we both fell asleep...for about 5 minutes. That's when the doorbell rang and the barking began.

Two young men in dark suits, ties and very cleanly scrubbed, pink faces stood at the door attempting to talk as the dog barked in my left ear. I determined that they were not meter readers or salesmen of the usual ilk.

"We have come to talk to you about "family". Is family important in your life?" asked one young man as he stared into the lower corner of our porch.

Thinking about my abbreviated snooze and the yapping dog, I decided to mess with their heads. "Hmmm....let me think on that one for a minute."

They looked startled and panicked by my hesitation.

"Pardon my sluggishness, I was just having a nap," I responded. "Yes, family is important."

Looking relieved, the same young man still peering into the concrete corner, continued. "Well, we want to bring you a message. Are you interested?"

I craned my neck to see what he was looking at...crib notes? a spider? our stepstool bench?

"Thanks, we have our own faith and church that we attend," I answered, hoping that my psychic ability which suggested that the young men were Mormons was indeed accurate. The rest of the conversation went something like this.

Boy A - "We're not here to knock any other religion or anything, but do you mind if we ask what church you belong to? "

Me - "We are Lutheran." (Insert two round, pink, clean shaven boy faces, staring with mouthes agape here)

Boy A - "Wow, that's really something."

Boy B - Nodding in agreement and staring at my obvious green skin and horns. "I've never met a Lutheran before".

Boy A - "I have, my mother knew one once and they were actually friends."

They thanked me and left although I noted that they kept looking over their shoulders on their way down our path.

I decided I didn't want to go to Zumba tonight. I am writing blogs, and looking up Martin Luther quotes. First, I saw one about a dog and a little golden tail. Then I found this one. "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave."

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